How to make an Alien vs. Predator-movie

Now in Hollywood, the AVP movies are fun to make. They're great big money-projects, and you've got all these teenages who don't know better that goes to see them. Plus, you get to bring TWO iconic monsters together, AND adapt a videogame, all while making an EPIC action/horror-movie with a PG-13 rating! Who could ask for more? (And yes, I know that the second movie, AVP-R, got an R. It was a desperate solution from FOX to make the sequel gorier, and thus more interesting for everyone BUT the fans)

Rule # 1

An AVP-movie cannot be all about action.

Alien is an epic horror movie about an unstoppable monster. But it is not action, nor is it the story that makes the movie "tick". It's the creeping, horrible knowledge that there is something out there: something unstoppabele. It is the feeling of the movie; the creepy, eerie mood. THAT is what truly makes the first Alien-movie. That and the monster, of course.

In Predator, the situation is the same; a group of humans are trapped; they are trying to find a way out, when they suddenly are confronted with the perfect hunter. He is unstoppable, he is mysterious and they have nothing but wilderness everywhere they look. Like in Alien, it is the knowledge that something terrible might be hiding in those bushes, or for that matter right beside you, because the Predator can make himself invisible.

In both movies, it is the knowledge that they are fighting a nearly unstoppable killing machine. It isn't the ACTION that matters, it is the mood, the feeling of the whole movie, not about lazy-ass downright boring action-scenes, where humans, Predators and Aliens are fighting. That ain't funny, because we know that either the Alien or the Predator is going to win. Hell, they said it on the poster; "Whoever wins... We lose" But who could see that lame-ass twist with the humans "teaming up" with the Predators coming. I mean; talk about a bad story. Which leads us to

Rule # 2

The story must be set sometime after the first Alien-movie.

If a story about Aliens and Predators are going to work, you cannot have it take place on Earth in Present-Day. It just doesn't work that way. I mean, they say so in the first Alien-movie that NO ONE HAS EVER HEARD ABOUT THIS THING! And I mean, seriously, come on! If the Aliens had been living on OUR FUCKING PLANET, and we thought they were somekind of Gods, don't you think we maybe would have found something? Anything? Well, I fucking do. I mean, we found the fucking dinosaurs, didn't we? Or maybe that was an Alien...

And that's basically it...

Listen; it's not hard to make an AVP-flick. It's actually really fucking easy. You just set it in the future, and you don't give a fuck about any of the old AVP-movies. Because they're awful. What you do, is you reboot the whole thing. Fuck the "on-earth" AVP-movies. Just fuck 'em. They have destroyed everything everyone loved with both Alien AND Predatior. No, what you need to make a new Alien vs. Predator-movie is this;

1. You need to explain further what The Company "Weyland-Yutani" are trying to do. Why do they have such interest in the Aliens? What are their goals?

2. You need to bring the Predators closer to Mankind. You need a lot of background story. Basically, the perfect AVP-story would actually be an Alien-prequel and a Predator-sequel, just in one movie.

3. You need to make it into an epic action/horror movie. Make your characters deal with paranoia, in the jungle, on a spaceship, with both Aliens and Predators hiding behind every corner, in every roof, behind every door and inside every wall. You need some guts to make this movie as fantastic as it can be. Therefore, I am going to tell you about...

The Perfect AVP-Movie

After the Predators first found the human race in "Predator", they have attacked our cities (PREDATOR 2) and killed us brutally for fun and games (the upcoming PREDATORS). But now, we've had a breakthrough; a group of scientist, working for the Weyland-Yutani company have finally managed to make a spaceship, and now they have sent a team to find their home-planet. The Weyland-Yutani-company, along with the United States of America are planning on destroying mankinds greatest enemy.

The ship succeeds in finding the Predator-home planet and ten years later, we are fighting for our lives. It seems that the plan of killing all the Predators didn't work exactly as nice as we'd thought. Our earth is destroyed; we need a new place to live, and that Predator homeplanet seems pretty damn fine. And since we already are at war with the Predators, we're now going into a full-scale attack after hiding in the dark edges of space for a year or so. We have one Battlestar filled with military troops and weapons, and then one ship filled with civilians. The Battlestar are going into full-scale war on the planet of Predators, but on the civilian ship, there is madness; they've just discovered a dead body. None of the doctors on the ship can understand what has happened; his cheast seems to have exploded from within.

As the civilians have to face up with space's greatest fear, the military are fighting a desperate battle. And then, the civilians tries to land the ship, ending with a disaster. Now, the military has to fight an army of Aliens and Predators. And then, the question arises; is their enemy of their enemy their friend?

This of course has to end with them winning the war, setting everything up for the next movies; Weyland-Yutani looking for the Alien-race, eventually sending the Nostromus into space, looking for the source of the mysterious signal. Everyone has mostly forgotten everything, hell, they're either dead or sleeping, and the Weyland-Yutani Company doesn't give out this information to anybody.

AND that's how you make an Alien vs. Predator-movie!